


Midnight and Early Morning Talks

by ValeRossi1416



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Psychological Trauma, Recovery, Sleeping Together, how does tagging work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-25 03:48:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14370258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValeRossi1416/pseuds/ValeRossi1416
Summary: Steven and Connie prepare for a good night sleep after an afternoon of bonding alone together.Set in the C&C!AU made by user realfakedoors! Canon Divergent from Chapter 12 of SASA.





	Midnight and Early Morning Talks

The two kids laughed a little more after the popcorn fight. The small amount of adrenaline wore down entirely as Steven released a content sigh. His eyes had fallen closed again, so Connie grabbed a blanket that was nearby and placed it on the arm of the couch. She walked up to where Steven was lying and helped him up.

"Thanks." He said with a smile once he stood up.

They both went back to the couch and sat down --- Well, what Steven did was more like just sinking down into the couch, but still ---- .

The boy kept breathing, steadily, and his eyes were focused on a single spot ahead. Something on his mind?, Connie mused to herself, and soon enough Steven spoke. "Can I... sleep with you? As in, cuddling?"

The request did surprise Connie a little, but no way it displeased her. Quite the contrary, actually, and it made her cheeks a bit pinker than they already were. "Of course."

He looked back to her, a second of disbelief flashing through his eyes until the corners of his mouth curled upwards slightly. He crawled his way towards her, wrapping his arms around her torso while Connie took back the blanket and spread it over them both.

He shifted a little to make himself more comfortable, resting his head on her chest and she returned the hug. Though instead of just falling asleep, he undid the hug and supported himself up with his arms, their legs still tangled underneath the fabric.

"What's wrong?" Asks the girl, sitting up a bit herself. Steven's gaze was directed at the left side of her chest.

"Your... heart..."

"What do you... oh." His eyes glimmered a little as they seemed to form tears. A bit of fear was reflected in his face and she realized what he meant. "Yeah, it has beaten like that ever since I came back. But hey, it does beat like a normal human heart when I run." She added, trying to lighten up the mood, but the responde wasn't so positive, as the only thing Steven did was shut his eyes in apparent discomfort.

"I-I did that to you... I'm sorry."

She barely heard his whisper, but she understood every word and noticed the emotion behind them. "Steven, please, no. What you did was actually good. If not for you, I'd remain dead. I'd already be underground, rotting, and my parents would be devastated forever. Despite all the pecularities my body exhibits now, I'm glad to be here. I appreciate what you did to me."

His mouth was pressed in a thin line and he released a breath neither of them knew he was holding. "But if I had tried earlier to heal you, maybe you wouldn't have d-died at all. You could've gone back to Earth and resume your normal life, finish s-school, get to college and success so much the whole world would know your name! 'Connie Maheswaran, our country's president' or 'Connie Maheswaran, the triple Nobel prize'. Slowly, but surely you would've forgotten about me and the gems and..."

"Stop" She said gently, but firmly, and placed both her hands on his malnourished cheeks. "That was impossible to happen. You could've saved me from death a thousand times and White Diamond would've tried to kill me a thousand and one times. We were all supposed to die, but circumstance blessed us. You weren't the one to kill me and there was no way you could've stopped her from killing me. And if it hadn't been for you, she would've done the same with everyone else. So please stop blaming yourself."

His eyes were unreadable, but she could tell he payed attention and was processing each word carefully. She decided to continue.

"There's no way to undo what happened, and this whole ordeal could very well carry consequences that we'll have to deal with until the Sun dies, but how we deal with those consequences is the key, what we can control. And we do it _together_. I'd much rather have a slow beating heart than an unbeating one. And what about you? Are you glad I'm alive? Pink and magical, but alive?"

The wetness of his eyes starte to concentrate on the corners of these as he nodded. His chin quivered, but he managed to speak. "I am glad... very, very glad." He sniffled and couldn't help the smile that crept between his lips.

"Exactly. Now let's go to sleep, shall we?" She reclined back on the couch and pulled up the blanket to Steven's shoulders, who had already gone back to cuddle with her, placing his ear on top of her heart. The slow beat made him a bit nervous, thinking it might stop at any moment, but she had already assured him this was her normal now. As time passed, he even thought of the sound as comforting.

Connie mused if she should stay awake or maybe doze off as she looked at the boy who had fallen asleep quite soon due to exhaustion. Sleeping alongside him sounded nice ---really nice, at that ---, but a part of her said she should remain awake in case he has a nightmare and she needs to wake him out of it.

_Maybe he won't have nightmares if he sleeps with someone, if he feels protected._

At the thought, she decided to wrap her arms around him, keeping him close. She smiled as the fourteen year old kept slumbering, his breathing starting to slow down and his muscles starting to relax more than they already were. After a while, she caught herself beggining to drift off.

 

 

_Steven awoke and he was sitting on the sand, his front facing the purple hues of the sky and ocean. The waves hit the shore so gently they barely made a sound. Everything was very quiet, though not to complain. He liked the tranquility._

_At one point the wind blows a bit stronger than before and he spots some strands of black hair ---not his own--- in his peripherical vision. He turns to the right and Connie was sitting there, hugging her knees. Just like he was not so long ago, her gaze was fixed on the sunset._

_"Connie!" He exclaims and instead of her head, only her eyes move to look at him. "You're brown again... and your hair is long too." He noted, wanting to feel her long locks in between his fingers. Her head turns towards his direction fully, but she doesn't look at him. Rather, she looks at something behind him._

_"Not for long." She says. He wants to ask her to elaborate, but decides to look at where she is looking to know what she's talking about. And he sees it. A dark, swirly fog that creeps it's way towards them at full speed, engulfing Connie before any of them can react._

_The hybrid is engulged by it to, though it doesn't hurt him. A thin, brown hand stretches out towards him, the twitching of the fingers showing desperation and fear._

_No no no no no - Please!_

_He tries to make his way in between all the fog, to hold Connie's hand, pull her out, do something, **anything**. His mind races as his body finds it hard to move, the fog being way too thick for his weak, pathetic hands to pierce through._

_Eventually the miasma fades away and the world around them changed. They were back in the kindergarten of Homeworld and Connie was back on the cold, rocky floor, her hair now short and her cheek scarred._

_"Connie... Connie, Connie no, not again!" He already felt a lump forming in his throat, transforming the words he wanted to say into choked sobs. He kneeled to her side and held her already lifeless body weakly. He shook her slightly, hoping that she was awake so this time he could heal her on time. But it was too late._

"CONNIE!"

He squirmed very uncomfortably for a moment, until two hands curled arond his arms and held tight.

"Steven! Steven, it's okay, it was a dream, you're awake now!"

He blinked madly at the face in front of him. It was Connie. And she was pink.

"Connie!" He flew forward and embraced her tightly, shaking ever so slightly at the irrational voice that told him she'd die again if he let go. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, are you okay? You were-- I-"

A set of arms found it's way around his body and the soft voice that indicated life spoke. "Shh... calm down first, okay? I'm here, I'm okay, I'm on Earth, you're on Earth. There's no one here, but us." She rocked him back and forth, hoping his breathing would stabilize soon.

They stayed like that for a while, until Steven finally dared to talk. "What happened? You _truly_ are okay, right?"

"Yes, Steven, I am. I woke up and saw that you were sweating and whimpering. I thought maybe I could sooth you into peaceful sleep again, but by the looks of it, your nightmare was getting worse, so I opted to wake you up."

"Sorry for waking you up..."

"I don't mind, Steven. Truly, I don't need to sleep anymore, though if I want to, I can do it."

The boy stayed silent for a good while and did so little as squirming slightly to find more comfortable positions. Connie answered with a silence of her own, but it was clear the two had their minds full of things.

On one hand, Steven was still reeling from the dream and still fearing for Connie's life. He already lost her once and there was no way on Earth _or Homeworld_ that he'd lose her a second time, he wouldn't be able to live with himself (though truly, he found it hard to live with himself even before she first died).

Connie was glad that his nightmare was over, but it was clear that his experiences on Homeworld made it hard for him to have a good night's rest. Who could blame him, honestly? Her mind came up with things that he could've dreamed about. Maybe White Diamond had presented herself to him in dreams again? She still wasn't sure if that White Diamond was real or just a horrible memory in his brain, but either way, he had every right to be afraid. If not White Diamond, what else could it have been? Opalite, perhaps? She wanted to ask him, and if he didn't want to talk, that was okay. But if he wanted to, she would be all ears.

Both were uncomfortable as the silence stretched forward and eventually the girl decided to speak.

"Uhm... if you want to talk about what you dreamed, you can tell me. If not, I won't push."

His breath caught in his throat for a second and she heard him grown slightly. He nuzzled into her more, and whispered. "I dreamed that... you died again. A flashback..."

Her eyes widened a little, suddenly feeling his dread. "Oh, Steven..."

"I'm sorry it had to happen in the first place." He mumbled, voice breaking.

"I told you, it's better this way. We're both on Earth, that's far preferable than you being on Homeworld while the rest of us stay here."

The boy's stomach churned uncomfortably at that, remembering what he was planning to do. Despite his recent nightmare and all, he still had a soft spot for this moment they were sharing. Telling her would ruin it. But he felt like each beat of his heart was one tick of the clock that was inevitably going to stop the moment White Diamond's patience had died. He had a task to do and so far he had done nothing to accomplish it. How much time did he have left? When was White Diamond going to appear in his dreams again? Would she demand him to start looking for Pink Diamond's shards, adding that if he didn't start doing so right away, she'd eventually go to Earth and retrieve both the shards and him?

Finally, he decided to keep the thoughts aside and tried to lighten up the atmosphere again. The sun's rays were filtering through the small space in between each plank of the barn, alerting that if must be 6:20 AM, earliest.

"T-thanks, Connie... it was really nice of you to do this... Thank you."

"Buuut..."

"Huh?"

"Aren't you gonna say anything else? That thing you just said had a very 'but' tone to it."

Oh no.

At this point, he realized he couldn't keep it secret. At the very least, maybe he could tell her, and just her, and then she'd tell the others. A naïve part of him hoped that by the time she told them, he'd already be on his way to Homeworld and that they would remember that if they went back to retrieve him, he'd be forced to kill them. Remembering the promise he had made to White Diamond made him shiver.

"I'd love to say it's nice to be back, but... it isn't. And not just because... _she_ wanted to use me for her twisted purposes and currently she can't, but also because I wasn't supposed to come here. I came against my will and I'm pretty sure she actually _let_ me be here. I'm here, because she allows it, but I know for a fact she won't allow me to stay here forever. I..."

_Come on, say it. You have to say it._

"I'll have to go back to Homeworld one day. And I don't mean necessarily that she'll retrieve me without a care, but rather, my return there will be my own decision."

Connie said nothing, but unfortunately for Steven, his head was still pressed on her chest and he heard her heartbeat had increased. That was all he needed to know to understand what she thought of it. He also felt that the feelings of love and care that their embrace gave him had faded away, like a leaf falling, leaving the entire forest dead. Unlike with trees, however, this wouldn't be momentary. In their story, the trees would never fill with leaves again and the flowers would never bloom. Once he returrns to Homeworld, he stays there forever.

"I'm sorry, Connie, but it's what I have to do."

She sighed heavily and shook her head, letting her arms fall to her sides, no longer holding onto him. "Steven, you don't-"

"I have to!" His arms had also unwrapped from her body and his voice raised slightly, surprising them both and making the boy feel instant regret. "White Diamond, she... she appeared to me in a dream a few days back. She wants me to retrieve Pink Diamond's shards and give them to her. I don't know why, but she ordered me so a-and if I don't obey..."

His voice quivered, his vision blurred with tears and his breath increased, but the words needed to be said. "She'll come back herself, endangering every one of you. What if she sees you're living again?"

The pressure in his throat was too much and the sobs simply came out, agonizingly. His hands shook at the imaginary sight of White Diamond, enraged at the revival of the human girl. What stopped the only monarch of Homeworld from killing her again? After all, Steven had said he would shatter himself if she killed the gems, but he never said anything about ending his life if Connie died once again by those lethal white hands.

He took a shivery breath when he felt a hand being placed on his shoulder. His eyes creaked open and the look in her eyes almost made him want to spit on White Diamond's face, favoring the idea of never leaving Connie again.

"Steven, it is not you against White Diamond. It is _all of us_ against White Diamond. And yes, we did fail the first time, but now we know more. I have definitely learned what Homeworld is capable of." She said, chuckling half-heartedly. "So have you. And of course it might overwhelm you more, because you spent a whole month there while I was there for only a day and... died. But at the very least we know we need to be more careful. In truth, we were sure that the rescue mission was gonna be a success. Way too sure for it to be a good thing. Just go, maybe ask a gem or two where 'the hybrid' is, go there, find you, have a heartful reunion and quickly make our way back to Earth. As we both know, it didn't go as planned. We had no idea White Diamond had taken you under her court, we had no idea you would reject us like that, we had no idea of _anything_. We were fools. But this served as an opportunity for me and Amethyst to learn the horrors of Homeworld and for Garnet, Pearl, Peridot and Lapis to remember them. Now we know what to avoid, that's a start."

She was slightly younger than him, but gosh, she was so... wise. She spoke with so much confidence and it made him feel like they could truly win the battle. It hurt a little when she mentioned the time he rejected to be saved, his golden opportunity that he wasted, somehow thinking that they'd go back to Earth if he just told them so and that his suffering would be over along with his life soon. She says they were fools, but honestly, the biggest fool here was him. It had always been him.

"We are a team, Steven. We messed up, but we remain together. Please believe me when I say it is not over. Such a complex situation like this one can't have only two possible outcomes."

Was she a psychic? Those words reminded him so much of the tiny floating whale from his dream the day before. _Has life only ever given you two choices?_ To hear those words in a dream was something, perhaps the silliest part of his brain telling him there had to be another way, a way they could win, but hearing those words from Connie? Maybe it was time to consider. Specially after all that had happened, she wouldn't say something so naïve (from his perspective) without a solid reason behind it.

"If we try hard enough, we might find a way so that you can stay on Earth and we get to live. Sounds hard, and I won't judge if you think I'm just sputtering a childish 'evil never wins' speech." She said, smirking slightly. "But the moment we give up, we're allowing her to take control of our fates. We decide our destiny. Isn't that how the Crystal Gems won the first war?"

Steven couldn't help but smile a bit at that. Now his mind was going back to the conversation he and Garnet had on their way to the barn. Ruby was supposed to be shattered, but Sapphire realized that the future wasn't always as she saw it and thus, she controlled it, escaping with Ruby to Earth. Pearl was the pearl _of White Diamond_. Who could've guessed the accessory of the most important ruler of Homeworld would end up becoming an icon of the Rebellion? Amethyst wasn't like any other gem in the Universe. She had never served Homeworld, so she had always had only one planet to give her undying loyalty to: Earth. On Homeworld, she would've been shattered, but this planet gave her the opportunity to keep living and learning and shaping herself into the amazing gem she is now.

Yeah... that was exactly how they won the...

Wait a second.

"Wait, _first_ war?"

Connie's smile fell unceremoniously, blinking in confusion a few times before realizing what she had said. Slowly, she brought a hand up to her mouth, her cheeks burning.

"Oops. Well, I guess I got some things to share too, don't I?"

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic here woops  
> anyway, hope you liked it anyway!


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